A scathing assessment of Holywell has been posted on the infamous iLiveHere web site.
Entitled ‘Holywell: Filled with Plastic Scousers’, the prolonged assessment of the Flintshire city takes goal at the whole lot from its “smear of a city centre” to its residents.
It follows opinions of Wrexham, Colwyn Bay, Caernarfon, Llandudno, Bangor, Fairbourne, Llandudno Junction, Llangefni, Towyn and Dyserth on the satirical web site, all of which have been as outrageous because the final.
The evaluation of Holywell is usually scathing and, as its title suggests, takes explicit problem with what it describes because the city’s “pseudo-scouse populace.”
This, the assessment begins, “explains their unusual dialect” which, it says, is combined with that of the “troglodytic sub tradition from the hills above Pantasaph, Rhes-y-Cae et al.”
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It goes on to say that there’s “just one sport in Holywell” and that’s Thai boxing which, the assessment says, has been “embraced with open arms and webbed fingers.”
The city centre, the reviewer says, “is punctuated by property brokers displaying the identical homes which were over-priced and out of attain for generations, which sit conveniently out of city and serve solely to fill the populace with despondency.”
Shifting on to the city’s nightlife, the assessment says “Holywell turns into a optimistic plethora of violence, drunkenness and crime, to rival every other main city.
“The native pubs have an inclusion coverage of, ‘In the event you’re native and your face suits, we could serve you.’ The punters, nevertheless, are considerably extra discerning and except you’ve been to work with their father, ore ARE their father, you higher drink up quick, or decide a window…cos you’re leaving!”
Sticking on the subject of pubs, the reviewer writes: “Trendy tradition has been embraced by the native inhabitants, who now take pleasure in a Wetherspoons ‘restaurant’ on the town.”
Including: “The most secure time to convene can be throughout sunlight hours and possibly lunchtime, if you wish to maintain a dialog in English. In any other case, boost your night time by strolling in casually and ordering in a loud English voice. That is sure to have an impact regardless of the inhabitants having dropped Welsh classes in highschool in favour of primary automotive mechanics.”
The “native Pubwatch and ASBO celebrities” congregate on the ‘Vic’ resort for the “spotlight of the Holywell week,” the reviewer writes, the place there are “extra lifeforms than Mos Eisely cantina, in Star Wars.”
A typical night time out, the assessment says, ends with “a precarious stroll right down to the opposite finish of the excessive avenue; the ladies in towering heels, which don’t work after midnight.
“The boys following at a respectful distance, to keep away from any misconceptions about gentlemanly conduct, or sentiment. The objective is the one greasy kebab home which hasn’t been investigated by the HSE and nonetheless serves late at night time regardless of the risk to its home windows and abuse on its workers.”
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